No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
