I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
