I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
