You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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