Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
