:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
