how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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