we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
