I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
