My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
