girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
