Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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