yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Barsexuality is the new black.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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