i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
