I bet he comes in French.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
His nipple licking is glorious
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