white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
