What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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