jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
