Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
