last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
