I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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