Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
