My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
