those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
