god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
