He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
