Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
