You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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