idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
two words...techno handjob
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
