I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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