If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
