For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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