So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
