Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
