i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
