nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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