Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
