I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
