I must be too annoying 4 u.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
