Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
