after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This is the high leading the old right now
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
