Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
