he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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