In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
