im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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