she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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