I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
