Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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