I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
