After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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