Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
